Lifestyle

Who Is Your Guilty Crush?

Dodds-Lola

Go on, admit it. You have a secret crush that you don’t want anyone to know about. Whether it’s a somewhat older celebrity, a sinister villain you are supposed to hate or a goofy cartoon character, you can’t help but find them addictively appealing. Obviously it isn’t a confession to be hollered from the rooftops, but it isn’t uncommon to fancy someone unconventionally enticing, so why not share the shame and reveal your guilty crush?

Cartoon Crushes

Although debatable; it is probably fair to say that the most embarrassing crushes come in the form of animated characters. Let’s be honest, if you were to broadcast your love for the swash-buckling, charismatic pirate Jack Sparrow played by the famously handsome Johnny Depp in Pirates of The Caribbean, your mates probably wouldn’t even bat an eyelid – in fact, most are likely to nod enthusiastically in agreement. However, if you were to openly admit to going weak at the knees for SpongeBob Squarepants, chances are you will be met with a rude raised eyebrow or hysterical laughter and jeering, and consequently regarded as completely crackers.

Therefore, it was no surprise that unemployed Daniel Dodds was quite shy about his guilty pleasure. “It is embarrassing to admit, but I fancy Bugs Bunny’s girlfriend Lola,” he revealed. “She’s just hot for a cartoon character, and is like a real lady.” Okay, so initially the thought of having feelings for an animated rabbit is quite laughable, but, with her overt allure and sensual presence, it actually isn’t difficult to believe that Lola Bunny is really rather attractive.

And it isn’t just the lads who secretly lust for cartoon characters. Part-time florist Amelia Pudge confessed quite proudly to overly appreciating the Pokémonprotagonist: “I had a thing for Ash Ketchum, the Pokémon trainer because he had an appeal back in the day! His black spiky hair was quite something, and he loved his Pikachu, which was sweet.”

Similarly, waitress Rebecca George has the hots for Stan Smith from American Dad: “I like him simply because he’s authoritative, witty, spoilt and misunderstood, but caring when it comes down to it…and he looks hot in a suit!”

Broadly speaking, it is comfortably easy to float away in a fantasy bubble in the warm and fuzzy world of animated animals and heroes because of the innocence, enchantment and lovability of cute and quirky cartoons. Therefore, associating positive emotions with imaginary people does actually make (some sort) of logical sense, if you really think about it.

Enticed by Enemies

Fascination with fictional characters also extends to the contrasting murky depths of the dark side; meaning we may find ourselves attracted to the odd bolshy bad boy or vicious villain. Maybe we just find appeal in a little escapism and want to connect to fantasy figures?

Amelia also admits to lusting for a character who is supposed to be interpreted as the hated enemy: “I also like Malfoy (Tom Felton) from Harry Potter, with his distinct slicked white hair and blue eyes. He has that bad boy appeal– you’ve got to love a bad boy!”

Similarly, college student Jessica Dalton admitted to fancying Michael Moon, the cold-hearted psychopath in the much-loved soap Eastenders (played by Steve John Shepherd): “Michael is a very yummy man, and my reason for liking him is his smile and his nice eyes. I also like how he’s very cheeky and naughty; but he’s someone I wouldn’t usually go for in real life (personality wise).”

Media student Amanda Johansson went that one step further and admitted to fancying the fictional killer, Dexter Morgan (Michael Carlyle Hall), from crime drama Dexter: “I like the guy that plays Dexter…but only as Dexter. I do not enjoying being attracted to a murderer, but there’s something about all the murder puns that makes him kind of attractive, and that he’s a good guy in a way – he only kills rapists and the like! I have deep rooted issues…”

Age Gap

It can also be deemed quite embarrassing and socially unacceptable to fancy people considerably older or younger than your age. Despite this, it appears that many people have a soft spot for the more mature individuals. Graphic design student Georgina Delaney, for example, claims to fancy DCI Gene Hunt (played by Philip Glenister) from science fiction drama Ashes to Ashes, just because he is “old school and a bad ass!”

Meanwhile, journalism student Dayna Farrington, 20, admitted to liking Pierce Brosnan, 59, stating he’s her guilty crush because “he’s a lot older but he was a hot James Bond.”

Young males have also admitted to crushing on the older lady: 20 year old unemployed Anthony Checketts stated that Kylie Minogue is hot for her age (44), but with her famously pert bottom notoriously accentuated by those trademark gold hot pants, it’s hardly difficult to understand why.

In relation to booty beauty, university student Dayle Stancliffe declared his appreciation for the derrière of 51-year old presenter Carol Vorderman, praising it to be “one of the best rears in the world!”

Radio student Aaron Chawro, 20, takes a shining to BBC newsreader Natasha Kaplinsky, 40, suggestively stating that he would “give her a news update any day!”

It isn’t just older people we lust for, though. 20 year old media student David Bates was cringing as he admitted to liking 18-year old Olympic diver Tom Daley: “I hate it when I remember he’s younger than my brother,” he grumbled.

The Beauty of Brains

Intelligence also seems to be quite a sexy trait. Speech and Language Therapy student Beth Rubens claimed to like Sherlock, played by Benedict Cumberbatch, saying it was due to “the whole intelligence thing”.

Writer Morgan Whitcomb agrees: “I like Kenneth Branagh. Actors who are learned in the ways of Shakespeare always turn me on a bit,” she confessed.

Similarly, media student Sarah Privett said a man who knows obscure facts floats her boat: “Richard Osman from the game show Pointless is my guilty crush because he’s full of so much pointless knowledge.”

Pleading Guilty…

So, the moral of the story? There is absolutely nothing wrong with fancying cartoons, villains, older celebrities or people who may not be defined as conventionally attractive. I wouldn’t go as far as saying it’s healthy to lust for wrinkly movie stars and animated animals, but it’s probably more common than we think. So, next time you find yourself fantasising about Johnny Bravo or smiling dreamily at Anne Robinson, you can rest assured that chances are, although it is quite an acquired taste, you probably aren’t the only one!

1 Comment
  • http://twitter.com/d_griffindor Dale Griffin

    Excellent article! Well written and made me laugh throughout! :)
    As a psychology student, this kind of stuff fascinates me. I’ll never understand it, but it fascinates me! Haha 😛

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