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If “Manners Maketh Man” what is the 21st Century man to become?

Good manners cost nothing. But acts of chivalry, however small, too often lead to embarrassment in this ungallant age. According to a new survey, ninety-two per cent of women wouldn’t take a seat that was offered to them by a man. Eighty-nine per cent would refuse help with heavy bags. Even on a cold day, seventy-eight per cent would not take a coat from a man. And who now would accept a strange gentleman’s handkerchief without first making sure she had her anti-bacterial gel to hand?

Suspicion among women in turn breeds fear in men: if a chap has been made to feel a fool for leaping out of his seat on a bus he won’t offer again, even if faced with a wheezing octogenarian carrying four bags of shopping. I must say when my father, uncles and I stood up upon my Granny joining us for lunch in London over Christmas we were greeted with looks of suspicion and oddity from our fellow diners and whilst the older generation took it in their stride, I rather sheepishly slithered back down to my seat in embarrassment.

I feel we have quite a large problem rearing its ugly head here and that is that in today’s modern world it would seem traditional manners are seen as unnecessary and old fashioned, or even by some as patronising. In fact it would seem that many modern women, believe chivalry is dark and sinister, a powerful reminder that men believe they are the stronger sex. Apparently, a man who gives up a seat, pays the bill or walks on the outside of the pavement is actually signifying his belief in gender inequality. And yours truly who opens my mother’s car door for her isn’t a well-mannered type but someone who is patronising my belief that she is quite simply helpless without me.

Of course, this is complete tosh, the very principle of an act of chivalry or something born from having good manners is undertaking out of a sense of respect and duty, it is a selfless service to another. Manners exist in any society to distinguish the good natured and the well meaning from the rude and the unruly. A man with manners is a man who respects his fellow toilers, a man who can carry himself in any situation.

I often can’t believe my eyes when I see people grunt a senseless sound after crashing into someone on the tube, rushing across the zebra crossing without thanking cars or failing to let a woman out of a lift or through a door first. The saying goes that “Manners Maketh Man” and I should imagine that no gentlemen would want to be considered an absent mannered boy, as opposed to a well brought up man.

Perhaps, there are those who believe they are above manners, or indeed that often manners are out of place in the modern, grimy streets of capitals of the world. To these people I would direct to the words of Rudyard Kipling’sIf”, where he writes that one is a man “If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings nor lose the common touch.” Manners must be observed, irrespective of class.

Therefore, I hope that we all will make the effort to be a little bit more chivalrous. In today’s world, even in today’s classrooms, there is an all too foreboding air of “What’s in it for me?” or “What do I get out of this?” Beauteously and wondrously acts of chivalry and good manners cannot answer these questions. When you thank that driver for stopping or offer your seat up for a lady it is a selfless act with no material reward, but, what an abhorrent tragedy would it be if it was our generation to let manners slip in the archaic abyss.

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