It’s that time if the month that puts the fear of God into each and every man on this planet. There is a significant increase in foul humour, sarcasm and ‘oh my God, you’re such a d*ck’, comments. What the hell goes on ladies? We would love an explanation on this one. This ‘condition’ is also the greatest excuse on earth for a list of offences such as, over-reactions, shouting as if possessed and general throwing of things at quivering males.
So what happens exactly? What changes a generally mild mannered human being into a raging, Hitler with a headache type of person? The dishes are pulled out of the dishwasher and slammed back in, ‘you filled it wrong, the plates go here, not there’. Then the ultimate error from the male and he asks, ‘what’s wrong?’. ‘There’s nothing f**king wrong’, comes the reply. Yes, there’s nothing wrong, that’s why the kids have run away, looking for cover, no one is safe.
As the demon settles in, not only is there not nothing wrong but everything is wrong. ‘Who left that there? Why didn’t you bring out the bin? Why is there no milk in the fridge? Do not tell me that I’m being unreasonable’. It’s like a scene from the exorcist only not even the devil himself would come around at this time of the month.
Obviously what follows Pre-mental is of course just mental. The fire breathing creature is slowly reduced to an emotional wreck. She cries watching the news. ‘Why don’t you ever hug me?’ The man is asked. Maybe it’s because I thought you were going to pick me up and snap me over your knee like a twig?
So ladies, as much as you go through, spare a thought for the men in your lives. Living with Jeckle and Hyde can be tough at the best of times, living with Pre-mental women is a whole different ball game.