Having met so many people at University, I was actually quite shocked to uncover massive differences in what people deem to be a ‘healthy relationship’. I was probably being quite naïve to be honest, as everybody is an individual and so behaves in a different way. However I genuinely believed there to be ground rules that the majority of sane people follow. I couldn’t have been more wrong. So to help with this mass confusion of what actually is healthy, in terms of your boyfriend/girlfriend, here is a list of things you really should NOT be doing.

Deciding Who They Can/Can’t Be Friends With

If the object of your affection insists on being friends with somebody, even if they have dated them, then at least give them a chance to prove how platonic this friendship is. You can’t go barging in there, demanding they remove certain friends from their life that were there way before you met them. People who claim to love their partner and do this are just plain obsessed and controlling. If you allow the friendship to continue and inappropriate things happen (flirting, texting at ungodly hours etc) then this is where you can step in and make your feelings known.

Blocking Them/Removing Them On Facebook

I’m not the biggest fan of Facebook because I think it creates issues in relationships, however if you both have accounts and don’t have each other added on there then it’s really just weird. If your reasoning is because you “don’t want to see anything on there” then please sit down and slap some sense into yourself. You obviously do not trust them or have something to hide yourself. Quit with the excuses and just be honest, as there is a good chance they will find out anyway.

Forcing Them To Remove Pictures On Their Facebook

This is one I genuinely do not get. As we grow up, there’s a very good chance that we will have a string of relationships with different people. That’s just the way it goes. It isn’t abnormal and it definitely isn’t cheating if they hadn’t even met you! You cannot ask them to remove pictures from their Facebook that depict them and an ex, as that’s ridiculous. If you actually have jealousy issues that bad, then you need to seek help. You were probably in relationships before too, so why do you think it’s fair to be a hypocrite?

Spending Every Waking Minute With Them

Both parties involved within a relationship are allowed friends. This doesn’t mean you have to go to all of their friends’ events with them, nor does it mean you need to invite them to yours. It’s very healthy to have your own sets of friends and to have time apart. It isn’t cheating and it isn’t disrespectful to want to have fun with other people. There are over six billion human beings on the plane and so it definitely would drive me crazy to spend every second of my day with just one, regardless of how much I loved them.

Being A Deluded Preacher

If you’re going to preach at your friends, telling them which of their relationships are healthy and unhealthy then at least follow your own rules. You cannot tell somebody their boyfriend is too clingy and they need to get a life and then refuse to unglue yourself from your own partner’s side. Aside from being hypocritical beyond belief, it really is highly annoying.

Being In Constant Contact

I understand that you may want to speak to them every minute of the day, however there is a time and place. I have anxiety issues and so I ask my girlfriend to let me know she has got to work safe, or to a destination if she has been driving there. It’s natural to just check in and let your other half know you’re safe and sound. However this doesn’t mean you have to sit there texting/calling your partner when you’re supposed to be catching up with friends. It’s actually really rude and I doubt your friends want to sit there and listen to your mundane conversations about what you’re going to have for dinner the next time you see each other.