When couples first start dating it is inevitable that they will want to spend every waking moment together, or on the phone or just talking about how perfect one another is to their friends.

This is all sweet and lovely at first but for most couples it settles down and they learn that sometimes it is good to have time apart to focus on themselves and give each other a chance to miss each other. I love my boyfriend very much but we both know that we need our own time to do the things that we like to do, it doesn’t mean that we don’t enjoy each other’s company or that we’re sick of each other it just means that we are comfortable enough to do our own thing.

I fear that some couples are becoming one person. They live together, they go out together, they visit friends and family together, they are just together. If you are comfortable and trusting in a relationship then you should be able to go on a night out with your friends alone and not have to worry that your partner is worrying or feel bad that you didn’t ask them to come. You should still be able to talk to your friends on the phone and have conversations without their partner or your partner being in the background. You should be happy to just spend time by yourself watching films or playing games and looking forward to the next time you see your partner.

Too many couples are becoming reliant on their partners to be their friend, partner, family and just generally their security. It is important not to lose yourself within a relationship, you are your own person, you have your own life and your partner should let you shine as the brilliant individual person that you are.

Your friends should be able to invite ‘Mary’ out not feel like they should have to invite ‘Mary and Mick’ and if they do just invite Mary out then you shouldn’t always have to ask if Mick can come too (I have no idea who Mary and Mick are, I just thought it had a nice ring to it).

When couples only focus on each other and their relationship it can be a dangerous game, you can lose friends and identities. So if you’ve just entered a new relationship or you feel as though you are becoming too dependant on your partner then take some time out to focus on what you want and who you are.