Having the past come back to haunt us, bringing up baggage you thought you had buried deep deep down into a place no one could reach even yourself is never a nice feeling. It can bring back memories of hard times, hurtful words that stab you emotionally and feeling that you wish never started having in the first place.
But after all this, shouldn’t we be grateful for these memories? Grateful to the people we no longer see daily in our lives? For without them, we wouldn’t be who we are today. And we wouldn’t know what we know now.
When a person becomes dead to you they leave behind parts of them, that are already a part of you that you never realised existed. Such as a phrase they used a lot that you picked up, or a way they used to make tea; milk in the cup first. What is that about? Anyway those little quirks are why you like being around them in the first place.
But people come into our life and teach us lessons, as those break ups with other halfs or friends, happen for a reason; getting you prepared and to learn the skills you will need further in your future.
It has taken me many years to actually realise this, from all that was left in the past losing friends and partners to cross words and emotional battles, I learned instead of regretting everything that has happened, I am happy I had all those chances to make mistakes. I’m stronger for it. I’m more confident knowing I can hold my own, happier I don’t need to depend on others to make me feel happy.
However memories good or bad are there to make you smile and feel glad you are who you are now. Even for those that believe that the bad memories have made life worse, in my opinion the only advice I can give you is; if it was all meant to work out, it would have. And yes, we can become damaged from the issue in the past, so many things we do now or how our personality is formed can come down to our memories, so we never feel that way again. But in forming these barriers we stop ourselves growing into a better person.
Memories are there to remind you mistakes happen and its time to regroup and get back out there. This is your life not your memories, don’t let them control the future.