“You’ll get further with a fat girl, they’re grateful for the attention”. Erm no, they’re not.

Lad culture is part of the entire problem

This may sound like the beginnings of one of those articles written by a larger lady in denial, but don’t roll your eyes just yet.

Yes, I’m fat. Wait scratch that, I’m not fat I have fat. Just like I’ve got two eyes, a scar on my left knee and fabulous hair. Maybe there’s some sort of underlying psychological reason that relates back into my childhood as to why I’ve got more to love, regardless it really doesn’t matter.

As we all know, bigger girls have always been at the bottom of the food chain (ironically) when it comes to ridicule and general bullying. It seems that in this society there is nothing worse than being more than a size 12. Personally, I think my entire right arm is a size 12. Although the national average dress size for a woman in 2014 is a size 16, the rest of society just can’t seem to accept this. We constantly read in the news about an obesity crisis, and how we are the fattest country in Europe. Obviously it’s not healthy at all to be overweight, but it’s also just as unhealthy to be an alcoholic or a drug addict.

So why is it okay to bully someone for their weight, but not someone who smokes 40 a day or mainlines heroin into their eyeball every other hour?

Put simply, people have always done it and people probably always will. This still doesn’t make it okay.

In every school there’s always a group of bullies and a group of kids who are the unfortunate victims. You’d think this would stop after school when people actually begin to grow up, but apparently not.

“Pull a pig” is probably one of the most disgusting and downright degrading male activities I’ve ever heard of. For anyone that doesn’t know, it’s where a group of idiotic males think it’s funny to see who can ‘pull’ the most unattractive and largest girl. In my eyes it’s more men who have entirely no confidence, no intelligence and not enough balls to talk to a girl normally, so they have to make it a game to talk to a girl they think they’d have more than a chance with.

For any Inbetweeners fans, you’ll remember the episode where the boys head to Jay’s caravan club, and his dad states: “You’ll get further with a fat girl, they’re grateful for the attention”.

Speaking from experience, it’s endlessly tiring when you go out with your fabulous, beautiful, skinny friends who are constantly being chatted up by men you’re too scared to look in the eye for fear that they’ll say something sarcastic or nasty to you. So when someone does actually talk to you, and you’ve quickly scouted around for a guide dog, a hidden camera or his sniggering friends and find that no, this probably isn’t a joke it’s almost too good to be true. Yes, it’s exciting but I’m not sure ‘grateful’ is the right word.

So the two of you get talking and you’re constantly holding your stomach in and trying to stand at an angle where he can’t see your bingo wings or muffin top, you wonder if you’re spanx have started to work a little too well or does he actually find you attractive?

Then he tries to kiss you and you’re 99% sure this is a cruel joke or a dare, and the decision of whether to let him or to turn your head is excruciating. Everyone would see and surely they’d laugh and realise that it definitely is a joke, why would any guy want to kiss the fat girl?

Oh that’s right, because she’ll put out straight away as she’s just grateful that she doesn’t have to go home alone, again.

I won’t lie, I have done this before. It made me feel awful beyond words. I felt like I’d just gone with him because I didn’t want to end up going home alone whilst all my other gorgeous skinny friends were with kind, gorgeous men who actually (maybe) liked them for who they are.

I wasn’t grateful for the attention, I felt downright uncomfortable and stupid. Men think it’s funny to try and pull girls who don’t conform to the idea of conventional beauty, but what is even funny about it? Oh haha, you convinced a girl with incredibly low self esteem that you find her attractive and led her to believe she might have actually found someone who liked her for what she looks like. Hilarious, really.

There are men out their who have a ‘fetish’ for larger women. It shouldn’t even be called a fetish, do we say that some men have a fetish for blondes? No, we say they have a preference or a type. Calling it a fetish makes it seem like it’s something weird and abnormal to like, almost like you shouldn’t like it.

Let’s not forget about the years when bigger women were much more desirable because it meant they were more able to carry and give birth to children without complications.

Being overweight isn’t the worst thing in the world. Being overweight doesn’t hurt anyone but yourself, it’s not contagious although arguably addictive, it’s not permanent either.

So if the hilarious and original men could see the damage they’re doing with their stupid games and act their age instead of their shoe size, that would be just fabulous. Thanks.

  • Jack Black

    Beautifully written about a subject all too true. I have never cared about how big or small someone is when trying to get to know them. Partially because I’m not really a small lad, but mainly because it doesn’t matter what shape you are, everyone has the potential to be beautiful :)

  • Kayleigh Herbertson

    I really appreciate that this is a subject close to your heart but I felt that this article was difficult to read because of that fact. The piece reads as one long personal rant and I feel some emotional distance would have given me a place to enjoy it as a reader. Perhaps some headers? An arc? What is the point your making here? Men suck? Your life is hard? I don’t identify with either of those and it’s not because I’m “Skinny”, I’m overweight myself. Your experience could form an amazing article, I just think a little disconnect might have brought me into it more.

  • JA.Greenwood

    Having read this and I know I am many years older than you – nothing seems to have changed which is very sad. But what has certainly changed – petite, medium or wanting to be medium young ladies always make the effort to look their best – whilst some of the present day styles may seem a little strange to someone of my own age and in some cases ‘If I can get it on it must fit’ is an attitude best left in the wardrobe. But………the guys sorry they were lads when I hit the town. The lads in those days ‘made the effort…’ all the latest threads as they were called and far too much aftershave – that’s a proper shave not one of these pretend beards younger men seem to like to impress with and of course deodorant to an excess all with the intentions of setting out to impress the ladies……but Oh dear what do you see all too often these days lads guys call them what you will – a ‘T’ shirt which may or may not have seen soap powder in the last week or so and a pair of jeans sorry denims that look ‘with it’ because in their minds they are ‘with it’ what ever that means with the waistline hanging round the knees and in such a condition I chucked jeans / denims in better condition. So come on ladies don’t be tempted by the good looking scruff….who may only have one thing in mind……

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