Relationships

Surprises DO Count! (Go on and give her flowers)

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It can be said that our social lives and our love lives especially are some of the majorly important aspects of our lives. Some people feel like their partner in life is a part of them, a part of their identity almost. Looking back in history – it has always been this way. Love rules the world (maybe after money, but that’s another story…) and it is important that people treat each other right so their relationships do last if it’s with the right person.

People have actually figured it out long ago – it’s the little things that make a big difference. Long before there were brain scans, men knew that women responded well if they were brought gifts like flowers or jewellery. Men also responded well to surprises from their partners, like something good to eat – at an unexpected time especially. Scientists noticed this phenomenon occurring throughout time and decided to test it. They used magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) to measure brain activity during these events. They found that the nucleus accumbens – the brain’s pleasure center – responded very strongly when a person received a surprise gift.  “What this means is that the part of the brain that has always been associated with pure pleasure really cares about when you get something unexpected,” said lead expert Dr. Gregory Berns. They also determined that the brain reacted the same way as if it would if you snorted cocaine. This, in simple language, means that your brain flows full of happy-lovey hormones when your partner surprises you.

If you are one of those guys who refuse to buy his girlfriend flowers because it’s tacky, I’m telling you now that you should buy her flowers. You don’t have to do it every day; I’d say the right amount is about once a season or more if you feel like it. I’m talking about unexpected flowers here, meaning it shouldn’t be her birthday or Valentine’s Day or your anniversary. It should be completely out of the blue. If you are a girl reading this who never gets her boyfriend anything, I’d say this completely goes for you, too. Buy him something, or make him something, something he’d like. Give it to him on an occasion that he wouldn’t expect, he’ll love you for it.

Occasional surprises won’t make the whole relationship, but it will make a difference for the better, I guarantee it.

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