Shows don’t get much bigger than 2013’s Oscars awards. But there’s one way it could be even more thrilling. What if Hollywood’s glitterati turned up not in standard-issue limousines, but in transport from their nominated movies?
Tyre tracks across the red carpet
Imagine the stars and crew of Dark Zero Thirty arriving in rough, tough SUVs like in the thriller’s nail-biting Pakistan street scenes. It would be off-road, up on the kerb, tyre tracks across the red carpet; and right to the Dolby Theatre’s door, sending the paparazzi running for cover. Now Jessica Chastain, DZT’s nominee for best leading actress, can enter and exit the venue in super-fast style. After all, she’s a busy woman with 2013 horror-movie Mama to promote.
Frothing at the mouth
Or the team behind Lincoln pulling up on horses. For once it’s not just the press pack frothing at the mouth as they rub shoulders with Daniel Day-Lewis and Steven Spielberg. You’d also have a legion of helpers bringing up the rear with dustpans and brushes, quickly sweeping up any equine accidents provoked by popping flashbulbs.
Look of terror
Look out, here comes the Life of Pi crew aboard a fleet of lifeboats, each with its own live tiger. Yes, the Academy Awards organising committee had to build a canal so director Ang Lee and team could get close enough to step onto the event’s scarlet runway. But, as the cast’s man-eating big cats parade by, the terror in the eyes of the movie’s critics makes it all worthwhile.
Quentin Tarantino steps down
Django Unchained is another horse-powered drama. Their hands filled with apples to feed the steeds, 1,000s outside the Oscars struggle to clap as Quentin Tarantino dismounts. Prime mover in Beasts of the Southern Wild is Hurricane Katrina’s rising flood waters. Unable to recreate these in central LA, the film’s cast and crew arrive in hot-air balloons to set the same floaty vibe.
Fight through crowds
Argo director Ben Affleck and Les Misérables star Russell Crowe have to fight through autograph-hunting crowds lining the sidewalk. That’s reward for making films with so much pedestrian action. A wheelchair features large in Amour so the movie’s cast sweeps through in a fleet of these.
De Niro arrives in time
Dancing carries much of the action in Silver Linings Playbook. So what an entry – gliding in time down the red carpet – the movie’s star and eternal Hollywood heart-throb, Robert De Niro, would make.
Of course, all Oscar movies have the power to send you somewhere else. So maybe, on this night of nights, their makers should come in just as fantastic style…