Mirror, mirror on the wall. Sometimes it’s safe to say that we don’t like what our reflection is telling us. As an Irishman, it’s maybe not my nations reflection that is irritating but more, other people’s interpretation of that reflection. St.Patricks Day is upon us and with it comes the act of living up to our Irishness, even proving it to some extent. Drinking is compulsory, ‘kiss me, I’m Irish’, t-shirts and hats are highly recommended and wearing green is obviously, mandatory. We Irish, don’t like to be typecast for three hundred and sixty four days of the year, but on Paddy’s Day, we embrace it and expect it.
The truth of the matter is this, the Paddy’s Day festivities weren’t even started in Ireland. It was the Irish living in America that held the first parade. We just jumped on the bandwagon and hoped that tourism could be generated off the back of it. Now, in these recession times, we need more than ever to benefit from our Irishness. So we have come up with ‘The Gathering’, the plan being that all the Irish come home to the mother-land. From what I have read and heard, there’s about 200,000,000 people world wide with the ‘Irish Connection’ and God forbid that they should all return home at the same time.
Never has our Irish ‘cuteness’ been so exhibited as our annual celebrations of our St. Patrick. First of all, the man was Welsh, secondly, it was our ancestors that abducted him from his homeland and put him to work in the mountains, tending sheep. We then, ‘put the talk on him’, as when he escaped, he returned of his own free will. Like a magician, he made all of the snakes in Ireland disappear and just like a magician, the illusion was complete, even if there were no snakes here to begin with.
Ok, so since the truth is being told here freely, I will admit that, yes, I do have a fairy-ring in my back garden. Yes, I do have a leprechaun called Johnny Murphy, incarcerated there. Caught by my grandfather back in the sixties, Johnny still refuses to tell us where his golden fortune is hidden and sure begorrah, begorrah, I’m in no hurry and he’s not going anywhere. Sure anyway, we have great Craic every night dancing and drinking, diddly, iddly, diddly dum. So if you’re in anyway Irish, come home for a few days to see us, bring a dollar or two with you, or else post a dollar to Ireland, €200,000,000 would be a good start to getting us back on our feet again. It’s not about being Irish, it’s about feeling Irish. Enjoy Paddy’s Day.