Is the Life If Brian the funniest film ever? Yes it is, you know it is, there has been no comedy since that has had as many laughs per scene. The film, first released in 1979 has stood the test of time and it’s comedy, even more so. The storyline is simple and caused a lot of controversy at the time. The main character, Brian was born in the stable next door and at the same time as Jesus Christ. The three wise men appear and leave gifts, only to return a few minutes later to take them back, having realised the mistaken identity. And so the story goes, Brian spends his life being mistaken for Jesus and trying to prove that he is not the Messiah.
He joins the ‘Peoples Front Of Judea’, one of many groups that hate the Romans but don’t actually do anything. Brian wants to free his people from the oppression of the Romans and the laugh a minute story follows his life with a less than subtle comparison to the life of Jesus. So what’s left to do now? Show some of the best quotes of course. If you have seen this film, try and not laugh at these, if you haven’t watched it yet, shame on you, SPLITTERS.
Brian: I’m not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian: Now, f**k off!
[silence]
Arthur: How shall we f**k off, O Lord?
Brian: No, no. Please, please please listen. I’ve got one or two things to say.
The Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them!
Brian: Look, you’ve got it all wrong. You don’t need to follow me. You don’t need to follow anybody! You’ve got to think for yourselves! You’re all individuals!
The Crowd: Yes! We’re all individuals!
Brian: You’re all different!
The Crowd: Yes! We’re all different!
Man in crowd: I’m not…
Man in crowd: Shhh!
Brian: You’ve all got to work it out for yourselves.
The Crowd: Yes! We’ve got to work it out for ourselves!
Brian: Exactly!
The Crowd: Tell us more!
Mrs. Big Nose: [trying to hear Jesus’ sermon on the mount] Oh, it’s blessed are the MEEK! Oh, I’m glad they’re getting something, they have a hell of a time.
…
Reg: What Jesus blatantly fails to appreciate is that it’s the meek who are the problem.
Spectator : I think it was “Blessed are the cheesemakers”.
Mrs. Gregory: Aha, what’s so special about the cheesemakers?
Gregory: Well, obviously it’s not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.
Brian: Excuse me. Are you the Judean People’s Front?
Reg: F**k off! We’re the People’s Front of Judea.
Jewish Official: All right, no one is to stone ANYONE until I blow this whistle! Even… and let me make this absolutely clear… even if they do say “Jehovah”!
Brian: What will they do to me?
Ben the Prisoner: Oh youll probably get away with crucifixion.
Brian: CRUCIFIXION?
Ben the Prisoner: Yeah, first offense.
[a line of prisoners files past a jailer]
Coordinator: Crucifixion?
Prisoner: Yes.
Coordinator: Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.
[Next prisoner]
Coordinator: Crucifixion?
Mr. Cheeky: Er, no, freedom actually.
Coordinator: What?
Mr. Cheeky: Yeah, they said I hadnt done anything and I could go and
live on an island somewhere.
Coordinator: Oh I say, thats very nice. Well, off you go then.
Mr. Cheeky: No, Im just pulling your leg, its crucifixion really.
Coordinator: [laughing] Oh yes, very good. Well…
Mr. Cheeky: Yes I know, out of the door, one cross each, line on the
left.
Ok, I’m going to leave it at that. What’s your favourite quote from this classic of classics?