The Art of Drunk Texting

So everything’s going well, you’re having a great time at pre drinks, overloading on the vodka to mixer ratio and enduring the dreaded game of ‘Never Have I Ever’ praying no one brings up that thing that happened last term. You start to feel yourself get more and more drunk and it’s time to go out.

Then it gets to that dreaded time of night when you suddenly think it’s a great idea to text the majority of the male species on your contacts list. Or on some occasions just the odd person who you would never text sober and all too soon you’re having a full on conversation and it’s a likely situation that the person on the receiving end of these awful texts is completely sober.

Now it may start off with the perfectly innocent, “Heyy” but this can soon escalate into much worse and you may find yourself texting things you would never imagine saying if you were in a sober state. However when you’re intoxicated all morals are left behind and you don’t think twice about sending a particularly embarrassing text.


A few personal bests of mine are:

“WHerE Uu??” – even though the person is clearly at home, sober.

“I luke uu” – a drunken take on ‘I like you’, usually when you have no feelings what so ever for the poor person you’ve unloaded this information on.

And the worst, “Can I come bk 2 urss” – we’ve all done it, haven’t we? Probably one of the worst you could send, especially if you have to face seeing them sober the next day. Refrain from sending this at any costs.


So after the feeling of invincibility wears off and you wake up the next day feeling like someones punched you multiple times in the head you do the usual routine of checking through any photos, tweets and the most dreaded of all, texts. Then the feeling of shame, embarrassment and humiliation suddenly rush through you and the earth swallowing you up there and then would be the best thing that could happen for your sake and for the sake of anyone you’ve texted the night before.

Everyone does it, right? Fortunately as well being an avid drunk texter I’ve also been on the receiving end of drunk texts and as much as some can be a bit cringey and weird they are mostly quite funny but then again boys are no way near as bad as girls.

The best thing to do here is accept your embarrassing behaviour and swear you’ll never do it again.

Until the next night out.

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