Being in a long term relationship seems like a thing of the past, especially if you’ve moved away to Uni. But can a casual relationship really fulfil our needs of having someone but still having the freedom to do as we please? There are lots of pro’s to a casual relationship, cuddles and a young person’s ever growing need for ‘spooning’, as well as having someone to talk to and not forgetting the fundamental perk of sex when you want it, all this and without the downfalls of being in a relationship; the worry your other half will cheat, not having as much freedom and incase you do have a few too many kissing someone else can easily be brushed off.
But whilst this all seems like a win win situation, after being in a casual relationship for a while, how much longer will it last before you start asking the dreaded questions, ‘where do I stand?’ and ‘what are we?’. Or before one of you starts developing feelings which stem further than just a casual relationship.
Many people enjoy casual relationships for many of the benefits mentioned above and it works for a lot of people. But what happens if you do start to develop feelings, is it best just to keep quiet and see how things pan out or risk telling them and losing them? This seems to be the ultimate dilemma and one which is very hard to come up with a perfect solution. My solution? Don’t get involved in the first place. Or if you insist on getting yourself into a situation like this, get out as soon as any form of beyond friendship feelings start to develop properly.
We’re only human, it’s perfectly normal to start liking someone as more than a friend after spending a lot of time together, especially if you’re sleeping together. If you are certain a casual relationship is what you want make this clear and don’t play games or lead anyone on, this is dangerous territory and can ruin any foundations of your initial friendship.
Many of these casual relationships can often grow into proper boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, but a fair share of them also fizzle out.
When it comes down to it, casual, ‘friends with benefits’ relationships can and do work really well for a lot of people but I think you have no be a very emotionally strong person to be able to separate you’re feelings from a strictly sexual relationship and I highly admire anyone that can do it. However, I’ve come to the conclusion that they are not for me.