No voice? No worries – How the Rebecca Black contagion is spreading

Just recently I was traumatised by the exposure to a new music sensation hitting up YouTube and, quite frankly, it makes Rebecca Black sound like Adele. But this is not due to the sole reason that the “musician” in question can barely hit a note, it’s more to do with the painstaking fact that the song is about ETHNIC CUISINE.

Alison Gold’s “Chinese Food” has racked up more than 12million views on YouTube in just three weeks, and it has caused quite some controversy since. Gold has been confronted about some of the racist implications of the music video, some of which include stereotypes from fortune cookies to riding away on rainbows. It features a panda rapping in what sounds to be heavily accented English, and not forgetting the very authentic Chinese kimono-clad geisha dancers (psst, very Japanese.) Awkward..

But aside from the countless things wrong with the song and the video, the most disturbing thing about this is that Gold is TWELVE. She discusses clubbing and whatever “ballin” is in this song, and expects the world to treat her like a grown-up. At least when Justin Bieber was twelve he participated in actual singing competitions like most aspiring singers would, not cuddle men in panda costumes in playing parks. If you are at all intrigued, then check it out here.

It seems the culprit behind this musical farce is none other than Patrice Wilson whom, is not only Mr. Man-In-Panda-Bear-Costume, but also seems to be a re-offender who introduced the infamous “Friday” by Rebecca Black into our midsts. This man has had a lot of criticism in the past, accused of “exploiting rich kids and their parents” but defends his actions by insisting that he does not promise fame to these children.

Many have suggested Wilson is aiming to recreate the success capitalised from “Friday.” Black herself may not consider the death threats she received as proof of her success, but the attention brought to the song certainly increased his popularity. He seems to be making money quite happily by exploiting the future reputations of these innocent children, all the while unbeknown to their oblivious, good intention parents.

Finding musical fame despite the lack of vocal talent is not a new concept – remember what Bowie said about Dylan? But Gold has proved that you can literally make a “music video” for just about absolutely anything (broccoli gets a good old mention – twice.)

As for Patrice Wilson and his army of ballin’ brats, I just hope parents realise the real risks they’re setting their children up for, sooner rather than later. The likelihood is that any attention stirred up surrounding the video is likely to be more negative than positive, especially if racial stereotypes cloud any potential talent like in “Chinese Food.” Although, to be honest I see little talent in reading out a takeaway menu to a slight tune. No more sacrifices please Patrice, these kids are wholly unaware of the insults and hate that is coming their way.

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