Why limit yourself to one London borough? The Made in Chelsea and TOWIE lot need to get out more and maybe they’ll see that the ex of a mate isn’t the only option available to them. Ok, so much of what we see is acted (if you can call it acting) but their screwed facial expressions suggest that this carry on is for real. Both shows are identical in content but not so different in class. Posh accent or cockney, they’re all at it! So why do I watch them you’re all asking, well I need something to write about and the boutiques on Sloane Square are a rather delightful.

Seriously though, isn’t there a code whereby you don’t entertain the thought of an intimate relationship with the ex of a mate? I asked a friend of mine who says the code still exists in his and the world of his friends; thank goodness for that! This televised, somewhat incestuous behaviour, on 3 times a week, suggests that it is the norm when in fact it couldn’t be further from the mind of anyone who has one.

All for a bit of sloppy seconds that usually leads to an awkward encounter with your friend explaining a sorry excuse for your actions when it’s over; no explanation necessary when you lost yourself in selfish abandon at the time then? Tail between your legs as you squirm time! Call me old-fashioned but your rep is everything; girls, if you think men don’t get together and talk you are even more deluded than first thought. Desperate times don’t always call for desperate measures or manipulation.

The friend that you were kicking it with on a daily basis will be wondering if you fancied their significant other all along, will revisit the conversations you had, coming to the conclusion that your advice had a hidden agenda, will now question the loyalty of everyone and worst of all, have trouble trusting anyone again. The next person they’ll want to love for will suffer and be questioned incessantly; I think they call this the knock on effect.

Anyone having thoughts of betraying a friend needs to get out more… jellied eels and foie gras aren’t to everyone’s taste.