If you’ve read any of my previous articles (if you haven’t, what are you doing with your life?) or if you’re lucky enough to know me (Congratulations) then you will know that I like to rant. Ranting’s good, you need to let things off your chest once in a while… Okay admittedly I don’t rant ‘once in a while’, I rant regularly. We all have one or two things that really grate on us, the things we hate, we despise, and the things that make us turn into characters that could have only been written for a horror film. So this article is dedicated to 5 things that I hate..
1. Rude people. This might be an obvious one but it really does my nut in. Didn’t your mother teach you the pleases and thank you’s? I’m not expecting 5 star service although I do love it when people hold doors open for you in hotels. My pet hate is when you wait there like a moron, all eyes and teeth, holding a door open and like Jesus graced the planet, they just walk through. Er hellooooo? That’s fine you just waltz through life. And yes before you ask, I am one of those girls that will then shout ‘YOUR WELCOME’… yeah I know, totally British and totally giving Britain a good name.
2. Bad eating manners. I can already hear my Dad going ‘It’s very rude to comment on someone’s eating habits’… But sorry, annoying me is even ruder. Right so where do I even begin? Teeth scraping along the fork, chewing with your mouth open, scraping your plate whilst you cut, slurping, burping and not to forget eating with the speed of Mo Farah’s legs. I’m hungry which makes me grouchy, I’ve just had to cook my own food and now I have to listen to you eat and chew and even worst see your food. We are not animals and I do not need to see your regurgitated fish fingers. Please people.
3. PSI. The dreaded personal space invader. Dear lord, if I wanted to be anywhere near you or your armpits I would tell you and believe me I really don’t. These creatures literally seem to lurk everywhere. You could be dancing in a club and oh yes a group of PSI’s are there. Looking for a book in the library and someone will lean over you without even the slightest acknowledgement. Even when you’re talking to someone and they don’t seem to notice that you are looking at the floor, edging away slowly… No, instead they move closer and closer and ahhhhh. In shops, in a queue, you’ll have someone’s boobs in your back. The worst is when you’re sitting at the table, obviously chilling and someone will come and sit right next to you. Literally sitting on your lap. I mean obviously I must just throw out vibes that say ‘COME ON, COME INTO MY SPACE’ or ‘GET UP IN MY GRILL, I LOVE IT.’
4. Bad breath. Seriously, you can buy toothpaste in pound land and if you’re that desperate you don’t even need a brush just rub some paste on your nasty little fangs. It’s always the people with bad breath who have too much to say and think nothing of laughing therefore breathing all up in my face. It’s as if they know they have bad breath and want to torture people to decide to use it to their advantages.
5. Questions. Just a heads up, if I want you to know something I will tell you. Seriously you get these people who can ask about 7 questions simply from you making a cup of tea… What mug? Why? What milk? What type of tea? How much? How long? JEEEZ. Don’t get me wrong I like people taking an interest in me and mum don’t worry this isn’t me complaining about the caring parent questions. This is me complaining about people asking unnecessary amounts of questions. You know the people that even ask YOU questions about someone else?! What’s he doing, what’s she doing. ASK THEM. Yeah its gets me irritated and before you question me why, that’s a question. And a pointless one.