I don’t know about you but I love a bit of Christmas telly. Promises of festive episodes of all your favourite shows with more carolling sing-alongs than you can shake a conductor’s baton at. But what’s going to be everyone’s favourite?
I’m not ashamed to admit this… I can’t wait for Christmas ‘EastEnders’. If something’s gotta make me feel better about the state of my life, it’s a bit of Walford-style doom and depression. With the upcoming demise of Derek ‘The Bulldog’ Branning aka Kat’s Mystery Man – how could she do that, with him?! Eurgh! – everything’s set to look gloomy and miserable in London’s most tragic community and I, for one, will be pouring out an extra-large eggnog and settling down to see Alfie smash him to pieces. Alright, he might not smash him to pieces, but he definitely should.
There’s also a serving from everyone’s favourite aristocrats, The Granthams, as we see them take their summer break – summer break? At Christmas? Eh? – from ‘Downton Abbey’. Off to visit family members Susan and Shrimpie, and their daughter Lady Rose, remember, who got kicked out of Downton for being naughty with a married man, they leave son-in-law Branson in charge of the mansion. There’s also a little bit of romance for the cook and a little more nasty-not-nice-ness from Carson, what’s not to like?!
‘That Dog Can Dance!’ will be hitting your telly screens on Boxing Day to show you all about the triumphs of Ashleigh and Pudsey. Y’know, Pudsey? The dog that beat actual humans to the title of Britain’s Most Talented. I’ll be honest, I loved a bit of Pudsey at the start, but there’s only so many times you can watch a dog run through a hoop before thinking “this’d be more impressive if that was a hoop of fire.” I’ll probably be too busy faceplanting a turkey sandwich to watch it so do let me know if the hoop of fire thing actually happens and I’ll get it on catch up.
And, almost as traditional as having more sherry than dessert on your Christmas pudding, ‘The Nation’s Favourite Christmas Song’ will be coming to your telly box too! Every year a show like this comes along and plays Wizzard, The Pogues and far too much Cliff Richard, interspersed with C-List celebrities discussing why they really do wish it could be Christmas every day. Imagine Christmas every day! Sure, the presents and booze would be great, but I don’t actually even really like turkey that much so it’d do my head in. I could do Christmas perhaps once a month.
As well as all those festive treats, there’s ‘Outnumbered’ where they hand the all-important task of The Christmas Day Game to a child and end up with a nice spot of festive Swingball. There’s also ‘The Snowman and The Snowdog’, sequel to the heart-warming ‘The Snowman’, that’s sure to have us all running round the room singing Walking in the Air pretending to be made of snow. And speaking of snowmen, ‘Doctor Who’ will be chock-full with giant ones as the Doctor and some famous faces attempt to save the world from the huge icy creatures. Set a hairdryer on ‘em, I say.
So there’s a small selection of Christmas TV that will be coming to you over the festive period. And lest we forget the Queen of Chrimbo Telly, The Queen. I hear her speech is available in 3D and HD this year, so it’ll be like actually having a new gran over for Christmas, except she probably won’t be asleep in a large glass of sherry. Well, I say probably.