2013 is fast approaching, and that means everyone is jotting down their resolutions. All the usual suspects are making an appearance, with everybody committing the next 365 days to their new resolution of losing weight, quitting smoking or finding a new job.
“I’ve decided that I’m going to lose 2 stone. This time next month I’ll be a size 8” is commonly heard after those couple of Christmassy weeks of eating chocolate for breakfast and drinking sherry for dinner.
“I’ve stocked up on nicotine patches, this time next month I’ll be smoke-free” is echoed among friend circles at New Year’s Eve parties a-plenty, as hoards of shivering smokers are sent outside to puff on a sacred roll up before the clock strikes 12.
“I’ve written up a new CV and filled in loads of application forms, this time next month I’ll be a Pet Detective” can be heard from miles around after 5 miserable years of data entry or making coffee for angry MDs.
The problem is, by this time next month we’re usually stood outside sucking on a Marlboro Light, eating a burger and complaining about how nobody appreciates us at work. Sure, there’s always that annoying person who sticks to their resolution and by September they’ve saved up enough money to go on holiday for the next year, but the rest of us have pretty much given up by Valentine’s Day.
So, how are we meant to stick to these resolutions? Or should we be the people that are so pessimistic that they don’t even bother to make them? Or maybe, we should just choose some more exciting ones so that we’re excited to begin the very second the clock strikes 12?
I’m sure that people might be a bit more open to sticking to their resolutions if they were a bit different, maybe promising to Gangnam Style to work every Thursday morning, or spending 8 hours a week learning how to speak Esperanto.
So, in the spirit of inspiring and interesting life changes, here are my resolutions:
1. I will no longer use text, email, IM, or twitter to communicate with those who I am in the same room as.
2. I will go the extra mile to meet up with the man of my dreams by sleeping on every long train journey.
3. I will do more to help others by becoming a real life superhero.
4. I will show my acceptance of other races by speaking like a pirate every Friday.
5. I will save the planet by taking fewer showers and using dry shampoo and deodorant instead.
I hope that my resolutions have helped you to choose yours more wisely, so that you are not deterred come January 25th when you find a Christmas Toblerone at the back of the cupboard and the diet is abruptly cancelled.
Best of luck for 2013!