All the single ladies… A guide to Valentines Day

For all of you who find yourselves love struck this Valentine’s Day… whoop-de-do! For some however, a lonesome night awaits with only the Dominoes delivery guy to appreciate. So as you’re chowing down on your double-dozen box of Krispy Kreme’s ask yourself, how the hell did you get here?

For someone who finds themselves alone on Valentine’s Day, life can seem not worth living. You watch your friend’s picking out that special card for their boyfriends of two weeks, while you sadistically look at sympathy cards, thinking of ways to bump them off so you can have your friend back. Moonpig pipes up morning, noon and night offering vile chocolates, effortless cards, and flowers that say ‘sorry you’re sick’ more than ‘I love you’.

The worst thing to do when single on Valentine’s Day is dwell. Don’t be sad, it’s just one day when couples randomly decide to appreciate one another just because every else is; talk about being a sheep. It’s the day when men think they are guaranteed sex if they get the right present and it’s the cliché day to get engaged, Classic! Think of it like this, being single offers way more variety, and everyone knows variety is the spice of life.

Yes, I could be being very cynical, but from being involved in Valentine’s Day for the past four years, I really don’t feel I’m missing all that much. Firstly, you can be utterly selfish and buy only for yourself, instead of traipsing the shops in search of a present that he won’t ever use. The ‘Clinique for Men’ you bought three years ago will guaranteed still be in the box in his bathroom cabinet. He won’t be moaning that you insist on watching the uncut version of Titanic together, and he won’t get irritated when you tell him he’s about as romantic as a cheese grater after you get drunk off the awful bottle off wine he bought you.

Embrace being alone on Valentine’s Day –  in the words of The Pussycat Dolls, “I don’t need a man to make me happy.”  Much better than your man booking a table for two at Wetherspoons; he always did know how to surprise you. Being alone can be mundane, but so can being in a relationship. If you just about qualify as Bridget Jones, then it’s probably time to get back out there. But if you’re a man hopper, and the thought of having no one on Valentine’s Day makes you want to jump in front of 16:41 to London, calm it down. Men are everywhere; and I promise they will still be there on February 15th, with another 364 days to act like pillocks. It won’t be long before Cupid is picking up his bow for another round of cringe next February. Happy Valentine’s Day everybody!

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