Hello Old Friend – Why do we lose friends

Everyone who is around the age of 20 will remember the days before Facebook and Twitter, the days when Bebo was the big thing. One of the main problems with this social networking site was the fact you could rank your ‘Top Friends’. Many an argument occurred because someone was higher on your list than you were on theirs. Having not been on my account for 4 years, I logged on the other day, mainly for a laugh at all the old photos. But what really caught my attention was that of my ‘Top 16 Friends’ list, there was only one person on there who I am still in contact with.

Friends form an important part of everyone’s lives, and as we grow older we learn what true friendship is. So why do so many people lose touch with their school friends?

The first explanation is the possibility that friends at school are not real friends at all. At the time it may not seem like this is true, but how many of the people you went to school with would you have actually been friends with if you hadn’t had to spend all day everyday in a classroom with them? This explanation accounts for 6 people on my ‘Top Friends’ list.

Next there are the friends you are friends with simply because they are a part of your group. Now in reality these people would not have been classed as genuine friends, but you did because they were friends with your friends. This accounts for a further 6 people on my list.

Sometimes friends argue, and this brings us to our next reason for losing friends, the fall-outs. Life is not always full of happy endings, and this is reflected by the people we would once have called friends, yet no longer talk to. Whether this is caused by an argument, or just moving on, this explanation accounts for 1 friend on my list.

It is obvious that as you grow up you change, and life will take people in different directions. Whether it is because you move away, go to different universities, have different interests or simply no longer have anything in common, this is another way friends can be lost. This applies to 2 friends on my list. There was no real reason we stopped talking other than the fact that we moved in different directions.

This leaves me with the 1 friend that I am still in contact with. Arguably one of my oldest friends.

While I only went on Bebo for a bit of a laugh, it did get me thinking and wondering what those people I used to call friends are up to now. Because of the internet and social networking sites such as Facebook, it did not take me long to find out. So if there is someone from your past who you want to get back in touch with, why not do it now?

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