I’m going to Paris fashion week, what should I wear?

Paris fashion week forces people to wait for hours in the freezing cold while the likes of Kate Moss, Naomi Campbell and other celebrities take their seats. They then begin to bask in the ambience of some designer, while you sit there feeling less than adequate as not one person compliments you on the £4,000 Versace top you bought especially for this occasion. Who doesn’t love Paris fashion week?

This is the treatment you receive when you actually have a ticket to go see the latest fashion, god forbid if you turn up on the off chance hoping to get picked to go in. You wearing your mum’s vintage dress from the 60s while your friend has opted for the boy style tailoring in a suit borrowed from her dad. Good luck with that.

Here is some advice on what to wear if you want to fit in with the French females. Try to look a bit ‘Je ne sais quoi’, like you’ve just thrown together some badly matching colours to show that you don’t really care about fashion, when actually, despite looking pretty mediocre, you’re convinced that you’re far better at fashion than those designers themselves.

A pair of glasses with wacky expensive frames completes the look.

You go to these great lengths to look amazing and up to date with the trends but here’s what people are actually looking at when they go to fashion shows: what the models are wearing and who the celebrities are. Here is what people are not looking at when they go to a fashion show: You. Even after all that effort you went to to try and look like one of those models from the catwalk who happens to be on her day off (you wish). Literally, no one is looking at you.

Chances are though it will probably be so freezing inside the show venue that you won’t take off your coat anyway and all of your wardrobe planning will be for nothing. If you want my advice you’re better off wearing your £8 dress from Primark and go visit the Eiffel Tower instead.

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