Okay, so I’ve just finished watching the first episode of the latest season of Made in Chelsea, and, like the rest of the nation, I am seething (and gobsmacked) at Spencer Matthews and what a Class A douche bag he has (once again) proven himself to be. With this in mind, I decided to compile a brief list of my Top 5 Most Annoying People On TV.
1. Spencer Matthews
The name on everybody’s lips at the minute, Made in Chelsea’s Spencer is back and already causing a stir. Spencer is not only a liar and a cheat, but is quite possibly the most arrogant and manipulative person on our screens at the minute. Spencer not only attempts to control the lives of everyone around him, but does so with a condescending smirk and phrases such as “Do you not know who you’re talking to?” and “You’re just desperate,” all the while saying everything in a smoother than silk monotone. Spencer does have the gift of the gab when it comes to schmoozing with Chelsea’s finest, but sadly that’s his only redeeming quality (if you can call it that).
2. Holly Hagan
Yes, Geordie Shore’s loudest, brashest little pig makes number two on my list. She isn’t a horrible person, per se, but the fact that she is so bloody unbearable to watch guarantees her a place. Holly has no dignity, screeching “My fanny’s broken,” after a one night stand, sucking just about every penis in Newcastle and getting ridiculously drunk at every opportunity. Holly is the sole reason why girls have a bad name, and why guys think that it is okay to speak about us as if we’re all drunken sl*gs who don’t deserve respect: because Holly is, and doesn’t.
3. Kim Kardashian
Flying over the pond now, to America’s most spoilt little lady. Although Kim does have a little more dignity than Holly (but only a little), her incessant whining is possibly the most irritating sound in the world. Part of me wants to shake her, and say “Kim. You’re rich, you’re beautiful, and you’re pregnant. STOP COMPLAINING.” It honestly offends my ears when I hear Kim whining about her First World Problems, or even worse, trying to say anything that sounds remotely intelligent. As long as Kim keeps her mouth shut, she doesn’t bother me. Unfortunately for me, though, that is never going to happen.
4. Mario Falcone
Ordinarily, I would say that I don’t follow TOWIE enough to really cast judgement on any of the characters, but really, it only takes one look at slimy Mario (he even sounds sleazy) to know that all the rumours about him cheating on his beautiful girlfriend with Twitter whores and ‘Sugar Hut Honeys’ (is that what they’re called?) are completely true, and seeing him lie time and time again to poor little Lucy while she loses the respect of just about everybody she knows is heartbreaking. Men like Mario should be castrated at birth, not allowed to run riot around Essex breaking hearts and spreading STI’s.
5. Jenny Humphrey
Okay, so I know Jenny Humphrey isn’t real (although it could be said that none of my Top 5 are), but she still definitely deserves a place on this list because Taylor Momsen is just as bloody annoying as her character in Gossip Girl. Jenny does nothing but lurk around (yes, she lurks, because she is lanky and wears too much bloody eye make up and looks like a creepy little girl from a horror film) moaning and crying AND LOSING HER VIRGINITY TO CHUCK WHEN HE WAS SUPPOSED TO PROPOSE TO BLAIR and all manner of things that I am still too angry to write about. Jenny is a bad girl, but not in a good way. Just in an annoying, get off my TV kinda way.