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It’s Just My Face!

bulldog

I’m not upset – honestly!

Are you continually hassled about giving others a look of disgust? Do people constantly ask you what your problem is with them? When you walk into work, school or meeting a friend do they without fail assume something is wrong with you? You’re not angry, confused or tired. You haven’t gotten up from the wrong side of the bed. You suffer from a mysterious case of a bulldog chewing a wasp-face; a constant grumpy-looking exterior that remains consistently unchanged whether inside you feel like a monkey with a peanut machine or you are indeed just a little bit grumpy that day.

Like many other unfortunate individuals in the world, I too suffer from this trend. My concentration face is almost always mistaken for unprovoked anger, and in the common occurrence of my daydreaming, everyone around me thinks I’m about to burst into tears.

Four words are becoming more common in day to day life – “IT’S JUST MY FACE!”

Believe it or not, us unlucky ones with unhappy faces don’t particularly like walking around with an aura of disdain all the time. It’s actually quite tiring answering an average of around 50 “Are you okay?”s during the day. It’s not a choice; it’s a mere case of an undesirable combination of the genes that make up the face (scientifically unproven). Those of us with the condition come at the shallow end of the gene pool when it comes to appearing cheerful, perhaps unlike a sibling who is constantly referred to as “the positive one”.

Our faces always seem to let us down the most when we are being introduced to new people, who have never come across the condition before. It’s particularly bad when it’s relatives or friends of a partner. Then you really come across as a sourpuss. Maybe it’s nerves, or your overwhelming desire to give a good impression, but the face completely gives up on you and refuses to help you out at all. You’re on your own with a face that refuses to cooperate. Brilliant.

The cure is a tricky, as one can seldom change their appearance without resorting to plastic surgery. I don’t think there are any surgeons qualified in the art of removing grumpiness from a face just yet (give it 20 years). I will however suggest that similarly to the rules in the bedroom, faking is an absolute no-no. Nobody wants to walk around looking like a ventriloquist dummy with a manic grin plastered on their face. That’s a great deal worse, and is likely to draw a lot more attention to your face than the common frown.

Nevertheless, thinking happy or amusing thoughts throughout the day can only help the situation. Not meaning to sound like a character from Sesame Street or anything, but thinking about something that makes you smile can only do positive things to your face. There’s a delicate balance between looking happy and looking creepy though, so just keep that in mind. Also, keep the amusement at bay, as it can be particularly disconcerting when a person is cackling to themselves in public.

I hope this has helped anyone else with the unfortunate permanent display of a miserable face. Knowing you are not alone is half of the answer. We’re all in this together.

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