There’s no doubting that women are a little bit up and down at times. Don’t get me wrong, we can be the most faithful of beings, loving kind and sometimes we’ll let you put it up our bums. But get on the wrong side of us and it can all go horribly wrong for the opposite sex.
You may have read previous articles about my ventures with online dating. I have now completely given up on the idea of finding Mr Right at all, let alone thinking that he might be lurking within the depths of the World Wide Web. After weeks and months of messages on my profile I’ve closed it down. The final straw came when an unnamed man from the Navy offered to take me on a date.
That sounds great, I hear you say? It wasn’t so great getting a message from his now ex-girlfriend explaining that he was crap in bed and had a string of women on the go. This was then exacerbated by another flurry of messages from said Naval Worker asking me to rate his downstairs. The last thing any girl wants when trying to meet someone is to chance upon a desperate pervert who’s dying to show off what he probably doesn’t have. So what do we do when we’re annoyed?
- We don’t let you put it up our bums – this one is kind of obvious and obviously one for guys we already know. Nobody from the WWW is welcome at my back door.. All sexual privileges are off the cards when we’re in a mood. Make up sex is fine but don’t expect anything special coming from our side
- We’re short with you in our text messages and are ridiculously sarcastic – Another obvious one. I personally choose the word “great” as my warning word.
- We fake our orgasms – Many women might do this on a daily basis but faking an orgasm is an ultimate blow to a man’s ego.
- We don’t bother to dress up, do our hair or make up for you – As much as we may like/love or adore you, if you’ve so much as put the wrong dressing on our salad you’ll be going out with captain caveman’s estranged wife next time you see us.
- We flirt with other men to try and make you jealous – This is a simple one to understand really.