How To Survive Valentine’s Day

When you think of Valentine’s Day, what comes to mind?

Could it be sickeningly sweet excesses of heart-shaped gifts, embellished with love-sick poems and captions?

Or perhaps it is the overload of commercial rubbish stocking up every inch of retail shelf space, forcing committed lovers to part with their hard-earned cash in order to remain in their partner’s good graces?

Maybe your mind is cast towards the endless stretch of singletons sobbing into their glass of Merlot and asking themselves why nobody loves them?

Are you more Bridget Jones than Juliet Capulet this Valentine's?

Are you more Bridget Jones than Juliet Capulet this Valentine’s?

Perhaps I’m being too cynical. Maybe Valentine’s Day is simply another day to spoil the person you love, or showcase your feelings towards that secret crush that you’ve been otherwise too shy to greet. Whatever your feelings are for the 14th February, the commercially driven holiday is back with a vengeance, more rose-petal scented and dripping in soppiness than ever before. Here is the low-down on how to survive Valentine’s Day this year…


For the loved-up boyfriend:

If your girlfriend has uttered the words, “You don’t have to get me anything, it’s fine,” as Admiral Ackbar would say, “It’s a trap!” Regardless of what your woman has said, every girl loves to be spoilt on Valentine’s Day. Whether that is with a delicious home-cooked meal for those that are handy in the kitchen, a romantic candlelit dinner at her favourite restaurant for the man who has money to spare, or even just a meaningful card and a stuffed teddy bear, it is always the thought that counts.

Think outside the box this Valentines!

Think outside the box this Valentines!

For the secret admirer:

If you have been suppressing feelings for your crush long before last year’s office party, then it is time to take action. You either need to be bold and tell them how you feel, or put them in your spank bank and move on. Valentine’s Day is as good a time as any, as it removes the pressure and gives you a great excuse to laugh it off if things don’t pan out how you’d hoped. So write them a card, or better still speak to them in person, and let them know why they get your heart racing. The risk may very well blossom into your long anticipated romance…or a bit of harmless fun anyway!

Secret Admirer

For the single woman:

If you find yourself rocking a particularly pungent shade of green at the thought of your girlfriends embarking upon romantic dates, there is a better way to survive this Valentine’s Day. Rather than knocking back another glass of wine, replaying Bridget Jones for the sixth time, and eating your body weight in Ferrero Rocher, get all of your single girls together and host the cocktail party to rival all others. Over-indulge in fruity concoctions, dress up in your favourite party dress and spend the evening with the girls, reminding yourself why being single is so much more fun.

Whip up a Sex on the Beach with the ladies!

Whip up a Sex on the Beach with the ladies!

For the single man

Before you feel down about not having a lady to spoil, remember this – you’ve dodged a bullet! Rather than having to shell out a small fortune on wining and dining your partner, and cascading them with sparkly jewels and chocolates, you are free to head out on the town with the lads and embrace your single-hood. Upon entry, you will find a buffet of sad, lonely girls that are jealous of all their female friends out on romantic dates while they are all alone. Lines such as, ‘If you were my girlfriend, I’d take you some place nice’ and ‘I would want to spoil someone as beautiful as you today’ would almost always guarantee you a friend for the night.


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