If you’ve just come out of a relationship it might seem impossible to ever be over your ex. You still wonder what they are doing, and you wonder who they might be doing it with. You wonder if they still think about you or if breaking up was the right choice and maybe if you could just call them… You need to systematically stop this inside self-torture . I know how empty you must feel after a failed relationship. There is hope. One day soon you will wake up and be able to go through an entire day without even thinking of that person even once.
The first thing you have to do is let yourself be sad (if you haven’t done this already). Eat all your favorite comfort foods and watch long movies about love. Let yourself grief over the death of the relationship for no more than a week. In this time you are allowed to think about your ex, the good times, the bad times, etc. You are allowed to isolate yourself from the world. You shouldn’t call them or contact them, but this is the time you are allowed a good cry and to be really feel the broken heart you have.
The second step is to break all contact with your ex. Delete their number off your phone, unfriend them from everying, unfollow them from everything, lose all contact with them. You mustn’t be able to give in to the temptation to stalk any of their profiles. You have to erase them from your virtual world. This will help you move on because you will no longer see them on your phone or on any of your social networks. It will make it so much easier. Part of this step is to delete pictures you have of the two of you on your social networks, and throw all the gifts away that he or she has ever given you. This includes pictures you might have in frames in your house, any memoirs you kept from some special date, everything must go. It might be difficult for you to do this but it is so important if you truly want to move on with your life. You can even burn the pictures you have to make it more symbolic and to make you feel more in control (just be safe). Any items you have that belong to your ex must be returned to them (you can’t actually harm things that don’t belong to you). Find a way to return it to them without actually having to see them, like asking a friend to give it to them or mailing it to them.
The third thing you have to do is figure out who you are all over again. What are the characteristics that are unique and good about you? What do you like to do that you might not have been able to do while you were in a relationship? Maybe you like ice skating, for example, but you never went because your ex hated it. Maybe you liked to wear a certain thing that your ex hated? It’s time to take your ex’s opinions and throw them away. You are free to be who you really are without any conditions and without having to think about what somebody else likes. Do what you want to do. Do things you’ve always wanted to do.
The fourth thing you have to do is get back to your friends. If you ignored your friends a bit to be with your ex it is important to show them you are back. Don’t even worry if all your friends are coupled. Hang out with your friends again and accept all the love and support they give you. If you and your ex had the same group of friends this step can be difficult. If this is the case try and make new friends and get new people to hang out with (do NOT get into a new relationship while you are at this stage)
Lastly, focus on yourself until you can be happy again. Forgive yourself for whatever part you had to play in the relationship ending. It will take some time, but really try and focus on what makes you happy. Put effort into whatever work you do to produce the best possible results. Watch all the movies and series that you like. Enjoy every action you do. Stay fit; eat healthy, as a breakup is no excuse to let yourself go. If you weren’t healthy before then now is a good time to start. You have to really take care of yourself as best you can.
After this you will be over your ex. It’ll happen before you know it, don’t worry. You can only confidently enter a new relationship once you have achieved happiness by yourself while being completely over your ex.