The biggest dating mistake of all

My best-friend of ten years Shellie, introduced me to the American series named ‘Sex and the City’ which she claimed to be “amazing”. I am proud to say that I have fallen in love with the S.A.T.C. gang and their antics, so much that I have watched at least twenty five episodes in the past fortnight. I must say, if you have never watched it before then I think you should because it’s one scandalous show that we all need in our lives.

The most recent episode I viewed was in series two. It featured the leading character Carrie who was suffering from the ending of her relationship to the most mesmerising man I have ever seen. They call him, “Mr Big”. This break up is difficult on Carrie because she is in love with a man who refuses to give her both the things she needs and the things she desires. It’s most heart-breaking because they are such a lovely couple and she puts in so much effort which is always wasted. In this particular episode Carrie decides to visit her therapist. She’s quite sceptical about visiting a therapist because the word ‘therapist’ withholds fear and she feels uncomfortable when she focuses upon herself so intensely.  However, the therapy unexpectedly works and Carrie finds some comfort in her realisation.

This realisation surrounds the idea that she dates the same guy. Now, I don’t mean the same person but instead people who bestow the same qualities. This factor struck a cord with me and I wondered? Do we date the same person over and over? Is that the definition of our “type”?

It hit me even more when I realised, that for me anyway, it is quite true. I have never considered myself as a person who follows a type of man but instead someone who captures my heart. But when I looked back at my poor dating history I can witness a pattern; I once started with the typical “bad boy” and then I flew to the complete opposite to the typical “nice guy”.  My curiosity grew larger as I questioned myself, “have I always had a type?” and “has this versatile attitude forced me to date the wrong guys?”

I don’t regret any of my past choices or relationships because they have all had some significance to me and I don’t date just for the sake of it. However, I do believe that I have been searching for a “type of man”, not someone that I have a connection with or who is coincidently suited to me. I’m also not saying that dating the same man is incorrect but it has made me question my approaches.

So what do you do if you are dating the same type of man or even the same man over and over? I think it is firm to say that we should simply walk away from the latter unless he’s your dream crush but otherwise I think we need to change our tactics. From this very moment I aim to change my attitude and approaches when it comes to dating. I aim to be surprised by a man; I’m going to go with the flow and try not to decode him for the purpose of hitting my criteria list. I will let love take control because let’s face it, I’m not the master at love… but Cupid is.

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