It’s true what it says on a bottle of Whyte & Mackay Blended Scotch Whisky: it is, in fact, extra smooth and rich. So, so rich.

I procured a 700ml bottle of this liquid-gold four days ago and I’ve already finished it. In my research of this product I have found that it is simply impossible to have just one helping; if you’re going to have some, it’s best to do so when you’re sure you won’t need to drive afterwards.

What happens when a drop of this triple matured whisky passes your lips is almost beyond my skills to describe. Your first ever sample is likely to take you by surprise, because it’s almost like swallowing fire. You will soon come to realise, however, that this ‘fire’ does not burn; it merely soothes. The ‘fire’ caresses, it oozes pleasure and creates taste sensations that poor Bell’s could only dream of matching. One important thing to remember is that you should never ruin this whisky by diluting it with water or ice or, God forbid, giving it a ‘mixer.’ This whisky deserves to be drunk straight every time.

Whilst there is usually an appropriate time and place for consuming alcohol, I’d be so bold as to say that there’s never a bad time to indulge in some of Whyte and Mackay’s Blended Scotch Whisky. Whether it be a rainy day, a sunny day, celebration of a new job or even the wake of a funeral, you deserve some of this delicious nectar.

Whyte & Mackay have been around since 1844 and what started out as a small business run by two men in Glasgow is now a company that sells more than a million cases per year, and has touched the shores of the United States, where it has a sister company. In 2009 Whyte & Mackay won two competitions where they were voted as producing the best blended whisky in the world. I can only assume that there have been no such competitions since then -or that if there have, they were rigged- because this really is the finest alcoholic beverage I’ve ever tasted.

Whyte & Mackay don’t just produce blended whisky; they also have a range of single malts, liqueurs and even the world’s first Vodka Rose. My intention is to try them all. You should certainly do the same, because if their other products are half as good as the blended whisky, we’re in for a treat.