Apparently, summer is over. I say “apparently”, because I must say, I hardly saw any sun – Except for one week in May where I wasn’t even able to sun-bathe in my own back garden because there happened to be a particularly vocal group of builders operating in a house next door to me, which unfortunately overlooks my modest track of land (I say “modest”, by which I mean “postage stamp shaped”, and “my”, meaning “my parent’s”, but let’s not nitpick).So why look forward to winter? It’s not as if i’ve been sweltering away for months, being fanned by nubile young men bearing large palm leaves, wearing only a loin cloth and a smile. My summer has mainly been spent playing Dragon Age Origins and listening to Aqua, wondering where my lost childhood disappeared to. Alas, yet again, the quest to rescue Ferelden took precedence over any kind of social interaction or life advancement. Why look forward to winter, if it inevitably leads to more of the same?
For one, a night out in winter is a night out. Unlike the balmy eves of summer, wherein you can leave for a party at seven and it still feels like midday outside, in winter you truly feel as if you’re heading for a grand night out. However, all nights out tend to end in the same way (Crying friends and vomit all over your best Primark leggings), but despite this, dark nights and cold weather tend to add a certain touch of the dramatic to any evening out. Even if you’re just going to your local for a couple of pints.
Plus, I don’t know about you, but whenever I left the house during summer it was if I had just run through the Sahara desert in a fur coat. I sometimes took to jogging through the streets, just to trick people into thinking that I was dripping with youthful, energetic sweat instead of just the sweat of a slightly overweight and MMORPG playing teenage girl who was unused to entering the streets in direct sunlight. Although, I must say, after passing out from sheer exhaustion in the fields during summer, it was easy to explain away as sun bathing. However, during winter, you are forced to use your imagination. I tend to use the excuse of a sudden and overwhelming spiritual revelation, much like those women seem to experience during the mineral water/shampoo adverts.
Lastly, there are the clothes. Personally, I prefer the big woolly jackets of winter over the short skimpy dresses of summer as it is far easier to trick potential love interests into thinking that I am attractive – Until I take the coat off, of course, but by that point it’s already too late as I have probably locked all the doors and already contacted close family members in order to establish black mailing links. Us females, we’re all in on it. Winter is a big conspiracy devised by the lady nation in order to snare innocent males into our web of deceit. Sometime in mid-October, we all simply leave our fridges open throughout the night and thus, winter is born. It is the one thing that women can work together on, in perfect harmony, except for acquiring the last pair of Manolo boots in a sale and ganging up to teach the boys a lesson in Call of Duty.
So, look forward to winter. After all, we do have Christmas, New Year and the IT Crowd special to look forward to. At least, I think we have the IT Crowd special to look forward too. If not, I may just pack it all in and hibernate until March.