Many a time have I read articles or blogs about whether long distance relationships work, whether they are in that relationship, going to be in one or thinking about starting a relationship with someone who is just not around the corner. There was even an article saying that you should never be in a long distance relationship because it will never work so if it occurs, split with your partner and find someone closer… er no; you are wrong.
You see, I am in that boat, but luckily our situation is nowhere as bad as some people I do know.
We met at University, but did not get together till our last year, bit silly right? But the thing is, through third year which is the most stressful year of uni life, I had a companion, a best friend, a boyfriend who I got to learn about and who was a nice distraction from my stresses. Due to the lack of nights out for us both, we got to spend the evenings together, or go out to the cinema, and our relationship was great apart from the day we both moved out; it was scary.
When the months went on and the closer to the end of our University experience started to get closer, we had “them chats”. He lives in High Wycombe, I live in Essex. Not too far apart, (two & a half hour train journey; hour and a half by car), but obviously far enough. We couldn’t just walk round the corner and see each other for half hour or pop in on our way home from a night with our friends anymore. We decided to give it a go, because we were committed, and we wanted to carry on with our relationship and not just give up.
When it came to the day we left Southampton, it was awful. We arranged to meet up later that week so we knew it wouldn’t be long, but our relationship was going to change in a big way.
He worked in a pub and for those of you who have worked in a pub, you know what pub working hours are like. He will work long hours daily, and have two days off. He spoke to his manager and asked for them two days to be put together, and even though she agreed, they never were. We went weeks without seeing each other and it did start to take its toll, going from all to nothing was terrible. Luckily, he got himself a 9-5 job so we get to meet every weekend when we can.
In our relationships, things have changed. My insecurities have worsened, even though I do trust him. It is hard to be apart and not wonder what he is doing when he doesn’t reply straight away. Back in uni-town, I felt so much more secure. Also, one thing I miss is if I am down, sure I can ring him, but sometimes all I need is a hug to make me feel better. Instead, he offers advice, and girls, for some reason, we don’t like advice being given by guys (mainly because they are a little bad).
But all in all, we are doing well. Over a year into our relationship with half of it being apart, we can safely say that long distances do work. You have to compromise and communicate a lot more, but if you want something bad enough, it will work. Sure, you will end up with more of a relationship with your mobile than your other half, but it will be worth it eventually.
I am not giving a 100% guarantee that ALL long distance relationships work, but I just hope that now people won’t be scared to like someone or not go out with someone just because of distance. My mantra? You can get to most places in the WORLD in less than a day, so no distance is that long for something not to work if you want it bad enough. (Sure, I made it up).