Men of the world, you could be wasting your time!
According to statisticbrain.com, the online dating industry turns over around $1.049 billion dollars per year with around 40 million users in the US alone.
It would seem that in the modern age this figure will only rise as the vast majority of singletons out there turn to online dating to meet that special someone.
Before I continue this post, I must make it clear that I’m not ‘hating’ on the industry or people that use online dating. In fact, I’ve had a profile on one of the major players in the online dating world and even found myself in a relationship with someone I met from there. I do however, believe that for men, online dating is probably the most inefficient way to meet and attract the people you really want in your life, and here’s why…
- Women receive A LOT of messages on a daily basis. As an experiment once, I set up a fake profile on one of the free dating sites, as a woman, to see the sort of experience they have. Within 10 minutes of creating the profile I had well over 20 messages. Women aren’t going to have time to respond to every message, even if they want to!
- The above point brings me on to the content you send. Unless you want her to delete your message without a second thought, you have to craft a genuinely intriguing message, which can take up time. You wouldn’t believe the amount of crap women are sent!
- Along with the content you send to women, you must make sure your profile is unique. If she likes your message she’ll take a look at your profile. If it’s plain and generic like every other guy, all that effort you put into your message could count for nothing.
- You’ve probably heard the saying ‘communication is 90% non-verbal.’ Whilst the jury is out on the exact percentage, non-verbal communication is massive when it comes to attraction. Sitting behind a computer screen solely relies on the minor percentage of ‘what you say’ to create that attraction.
- Even if you have an amazing profile, a fantastic opening message and she responds, a plethora of external influences in her life may result in you never actually meeting. The time spent away from the computer between your messages may kill any attraction you had built up during your interaction and the meet may never materialise!
All of the above has happened to me during my stint on online dating. I’ve sent out hundreds of messages without response, had brief interactions that never led anywhere and even got numbers that eventually flaked.
When I think about the time I actually spent writing my profile, sending messages and having interactions and compare it to the times I actually went on dates and got results, it seems massively inefficient in comparison to meeting people in everyday life.
It’s not all bad though…
I have and you will have success in online dating, should you choose to go down that route. An industry with that many singles makes it hard not to meet someone, but understand the following and you’ll greatly improve your experience;
- It’s a numbers game – don’t feel disheartened if you message a gorgeous girl and you don’t get a response. So many things could be going on in her life at that time so don’t take it personally.
- Put some effort into creating a genuinely intriguing and stand out profile – this will go a long way into getting a response or having girls message you.
- Don’t send generic messages – they will get lost in the plethora of crap women receive on a daily basis.
- Don’t waste too much time messaging back and forth. Generally both you and the girl will know if you like each other enough to meet. Always be moving towards your desired outcome.
- Most importantly – don’t let it rule your life. Meet people everywhere and use online dating as just another resource. If you rely solely on online dating, you’re vastly handicapping yourself when it comes to meeting the right person for you not to mention wasting a lot of time in the process!
So that’s my 2 cents on the whole online dating game. I’d love to hear your experiences, both positive and negative…