After taking a commercial break from The Wedding Episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians I had a moment to myself to think about what life was like before I got married.
Before getting married and having children, I had the luxury of sleeping in when I wanted to sleep in, grooming myself when I wanted to groom myself (waxing, hair cut, pedicure, facial, massage, manicure, etc) and eat what I wanted to eat. My life was pretty mundane, or so I thought. I would work during the week from 7.30- 2.29 (note the time), make my way to Jersey beach before the sun would set. Then, I would make it back in time to shower and prep myself for a night in Manhattan. I’d sometimes stay out until 6am in the morning only to be at work within the hour.
I was what you call the OGPG (Original Party Girl). And, trust me… sometimes the evening wasn’t P.G. I was a spontaneous girl who just wanted to have fun; after all as Cindy Lauper said it best ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’!
I had a great job that paid an excellent salary. I was set up. I could have retired at the age of 52 which isn’t that too far off from my current age if I am honest.
I gave it all up to live in England. I am not sure why I made the decision to move here, but I did it. I have always rode the wave wherever it took me. I am a pleasure seeker. And, before I got married and had children my pleasure came almost immediately. Now, my dance with pleasure has almost dissipated. This is what happens when one gets married and has children. I think more the latter. Children play an important role in a married couple’s life. Children are the heart of the family. This is a good thing. It is an essential thing. If your life does not revolve around the children then you’re not fulfilling your parental roles (of course you must find balance in everything).
I love my family. I love my children. When I think about who my soul mate is… I think about my children. They are my soul mates. I live for them now. I am no longer a thrill seeker. I seek thrills with my children. I am not out partying to the wee hours of the night. This party girl has hung up her Italian stilettos. Actually, they are low enough for the girls to try on and clickity clop around the house scuffing up the sides of them. Those black patton leather favourites are long gone by the way (and the turquoise ones the dog chewed). It has been tough. Having children is not a Cinderella love story. It is tiring, testing and tormenting sometime – the 3 T’s! I haven’t slept a full night of sleep for seven years, and I am NOT making that up! Seven long years! I am okay not having too much sleep. I’ve done it for years while I was working it in NYC being the OGPG! I have had some good training for parenthood.
Before 9/11 I used to get up at 5am to catch the 6am bus into Manhattan. I would work until 3pm run from either Park Avenue or the Conde Naste building (which ever children’s centre I was stationed at) to the bus station, walk straight to my car just in time to get to University as I was working on my Masters. This was like 80 hours a week busting my butt, so parenthood ain’t no thang.
But, when you have children your life slows down. Your life is not your life anymore. And, once you realise that… your life then speeds up again. Speeds up so fast that your three year old is now your seven year old, your bikini wax now needs a machete, your relationship is balls and your dog is all you have sometimes.
Before you decide to get married make sure you’ve achieved everything you want to achieve. Go to university. Take that gap year. Travel to Africa in aide of a charity. Do it! Do it all! Your freedom will soon be stripped away only yet to be compromised with someone elses.
So to answer your question, can the party girl ever have a Cinderella happily ever after ending? You decide. I know I will.