I have recently enrolled into 4th year of university, it’s my 4th and final year. I have my degree but this is for my honours title… I thought when I was talking about it with other people they were exaggerating about all the work you had to do for it and how stressed out you’d get about it all. THEY WERE NOT KIDDING. With only a week until my course kicks off the nerves are really kicking in.
The one thing I am finding most difficult is that a lot of people are looking for me to fail or struggle. All through my school I was told that I was very clever but I never stuck in and worked hard enough I was always talking instead… Hence why I am studying radio I guess. The point is I always thought people thought I was never going to achieve anything so when it came to the crunch and I was in my final year of high school I just gave up trying and let people’s judgement rule how I acted. My attitude was terrible with work, I barely studied. The only subject I studied was music. It’s a strange feeling when you give in and let people dictate who you’re going to turn out to be. One teacher told me I wouldn’t amount to anything and I would never get into university… Well I showed him, I have a degree. The only thing is… I’m afraid someone has said something and I believe them…
I recently have been reading a book that made me stop and think. The book is called “Team, it’s only radio” and it’s written by a man called John Myers. When he was trying to get his next gig on the radio he sent letters and demo tapes out to one particular man in London who kept replying with letters that informed John that he wasn’t what they were looking for. He took that to be constructive criticism and he changed his demo tape to sound more and more what he thought they were looking for. This went on for a while and eventually John got a phone call asking him to go to London to the office and have a meeting with the head hunter dude. On arrival the man asked John into his office and sat him down, he proceeded to tell John that he had no hope in hell and he would never make it in the business. Some years later and John is offered a job by that same man. At the end of the story he wrote that the negative feedback was the inspiration and the drive that pushed him on.
I feel that way towards university, 4th year is such a big deal and it’s so huge… I won’t have a social life, sorry to all friends, I totally am willing to work my ass off for my honours BUT I will not put up with people telling me what I am capable of.
What is that about anyway? Who have them the right to comment on my life anyway?
Grr. I will pass this and I will cry on my graduation and I will be proud of myself afterwards.